Chris Kelly

Yesterday on this blog, I responded to the still image of Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss from the upcoming “Hunger Games” movie, by pretending to be one of those lunatics who sees a small advance snippet of a movie and instantly rips everything about it to shreds. Kinda like how people tore into the new Batman movie based purely on one photo of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. 

Well, because I work at Funny or Die right now, it was also posted on the FoD website and was mentioned on our Facebook page. What ensued was like a magical cartoon Christmas of insults!!!! I know its lame to repost mean internet comments someone made about you, but heck, I feel like it, because they are so so so so so funny and precious to me. 

Keep in mind, the post only went up on Funny or Die this morning, and it was only linked on Funny or Die’s Facebook page AN HOUR AGO, but there have already been more than 50 comments basically calling for me to be lit on fire. 

Here are my favorite 10 insults. And I know what you’re going to think, but no, I did not make up any of these people’s names, not even #3:

1. This is the most retarded article from FOD ever! #4 makes me wanna punch the moron who wrote it. - Mike Chrusciel

2. People should line up to not waste their time reading this garbage. FUCKING DIE - Aaron Zeekay Zvonkin

3. Who ever wrote this article, have you ever seen a movie that’s a carbon copy in detail of a book? Why are 5 of your reasons all about features of the actress? One of your reasons is contradicting because its a compliment. You dedicated a reason to a small piece of metal on an article of clothing. Your grammar is awful. - Garet Spears Feezel

4. your pissed tht u can see hoodie ropes fuck off your just pissed u wernt smart enough to read the book - Alec Sitzer

5. and seriously u havent seen the movie and u hate it cuz of a pic wow thts just wrong and i bet it will be good and all of ur complaints r opinions - Drayden French

6. Of course she’s like a statue… it’s a freakin’ still photo… “Die” on this one… - Matthew Bledsoe

7.  well that was gay. - Gunner Elvis Youngquist 

8. 10 reasons why Chris Kelly isnt’ funny : see  above - Phillip Harris

9. Based on your use of caps-lock (I’m going to assume your caps-lock has a mind of its own, because if not, that just means you’re around the prepubescent age of 11 and have no knowledge of keyboards or their uses) and critical point of view based off a picture from a “VIDEO”, your point is invalid. This movie will be great and Jennifer will be great. You, however, will be “major suck-town”. Go back to Twilight you pre-teen. - Sam Diaz

10. Please for the love of Christ and his Father, this HAS to be a joke. He joking, right? If this is sarcasm; bravo Chris ! You the next Louie C.K. ! But if this is a real rant, go fuck yourself and die slowly and painfully. You already bash a movie by a tiny tiny clip from a promo, stating the FULL TRAILER will be shown Sunday MTV VMAs ! FUCK YOU, BITCH! - Ed-e Uribe

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EDITED TO ADD THIS NEW COMMENT WHICH IS NOW MY FAVORITE:

“Fuck Chris Kelly’s retarded skull. Moron. Funny or Die’s been choking donkey shlong for.a little bit more than a while now. Did any of you take journalism in high school? Learn proper spelling and general punctuation, and stop hiring eight year-olds to write your articles, thankyouverymuch.” - A.J. Dickerson