Chris Kelly

According to Astronomer Peter Kunkle, peoples’ astrological signs are changing. I am no longer a Virgo, but apparently a Leo.

I can’t wait for everyone whose signs are changing to begin saying things like, “You know, I could totally feel in the last couple weeks that my sign was shifting, so this totally makes sense.”

Also, please note that there is now a 13th sign, Ophiuchus, for the people who already had to go through the pain of being born right before Christmas.

Below is a complete listing of all the new signs. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be outraged, then embarrassed by your outrage because you should know better than to care so much about something so stupid.

But hey, I’m a Leo now. Maybe Leos are just stupid.

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20