August 2010
17 posts
My First Writing Job In New York Involved Rubbing...
It gets worse.
So my first “writing” job in the city was for a magazine that I soon found out was a gay men’s magazine. And by that, I don’t mean it was pornography. I mean it was like Details, but a little more straight. I was mostly just an intern for a couple of months and spent a great deal of time transcribing interviews with gay people and Parker Posey. One time, I...
At Least Ken Mehlman Isn't Also A Muslim
This week, Ken Mehlman told The Atlantic that he is a homosexual. For those of you that don’t know, Ken is a former Republican Party Chairman and was the campaign director for George W. Bush’s 2004 re-election bid that was so full of anti-gay rhetoric it made me cry as hard as someone seven-to-ten times gayer than myself. Which is pretty gay, because I tear up almost once a day as is....
WatchTIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults
Our newest Onion News Network video that I directed a small amount and wrote a medium amount. Take that, TIME.
Watchallthelatestmoves:
(claspy:lunchbreak:msmacdonald:emilyinternet:reallykatie:apsies)
Danny Perasa and his wife, Annie, came to StoryCorps to recount their twenty-seven-year romance. As they remember their life together from their first date to Danny’s final days with terminal cancer, these remarkable Brooklynites personify the eloquence, grace, and poetry that can be found in the voices of...
After Being Extremely Attracted To Every Single...
Me: Jesus Christ, what are you guys casting for today?!
Him: A rapist.
Me: Oh. Woops.
The Only Person That Needs To Fear Gay Marriage Is...
Much like the fact that later today I will be watching “Big Brother” and eating pizza by the slice in my underwear, the eventual legalization of gay marriage is a foregone conclusion.
Social conservatives and proponents of “the sanctity of traditional marriage” constantly worry about the national nightmare that will rain down on America should homosexuals be allowed to...
Some Things My Grandfather Said On My Four Day...
“Your grandmother and I had a cat that we left behind all winter while we were in Palm Springs once. When we came back, it was all mean from surviving in the cold for six months, so I shot it. I picked it up by its neck, threw it into the air, and shot it before it hit the ground. But it didn’t die. It just got angrier. It ran at me and I had to shoot it again until it died. To protect...
Why Playing Games With My Relatives Isn't Always...
One of my aunts proposed we play a game called Table Topics. We were to each take a card with a question on it, and then answer it truthfully. This is how two of the first questions were answered:
Question: Who would you like to see be the next President? My Aunt’s Answer: Rush Limbaugh.
Question: What issue do you spend the most time thinking about? My Grandfather: Erectile Dysfunction.
