Feel free to ask me questions here, specifically if it is about going to the bathroom, why I want to marry someone who already has a nine month old child, and why I hate people that run.
Q. What city did you enjoy the most on your trip?
A. I have decided to answer this by treating my recent travels like a High School Yearbook:
City That Was Just Like They All Say It Is (In A Good Way): Paris
Most Overrated City That Was Destroyed By A Volcano Almost 2,000 Years Ago That Will Make You Have a Big Fight With The Friend You Are Traveling With: Pompeii
Most Full Of Historically Famous Attics: Amsterdam
City Most Filled With The Spirit Of Christmas: Vienna
Most Rapey City: Rome
City Most Okay With You Getting High And Peeing In A Canal At Four In The Morning: Amsterdam
Most Ridiculous City: Dubai
City That Made Me Most Suspicious I Was Surrounded By One-Time Nazis: Koln, Germany
City Most Likely To Accost You In A Bathroom Stall And Try To Make Out With You In The Form Of A Dutch Person Named Jop: Cape Town, South Africa
Most “This Is Basically Disneyland” City: Prague
City Most Likely To Throw Up Whiskey Onto It’s Chest In The Form Of A Retarded Homeless Man at 3AM: Zagreb, Croatia
Most Expensive In An “A Coffee Is $8.00” Sort Of Way: Switzerland
Most Holocausty City: Tererzin, Czech Republic
Most Attractive City, People-Wise: Cape Town & Paris (tie)
Most “You Should Wash Your Face” City, People-Wise: Rome, Italy. Seriously. WashyourfaceRomans.
City That Is Most Just Basically One Gigantic Metaphor For Everything That Is Wrong With The World, The Future, And Progress: Dubai
Most Terrifying In A “People Are Screaming At Us In The Middle Of The Night To Lock Our Train Car With This Chain And Bolt So We Don’t Get Killed” Sort Of Way: Ljublana, Slovenia
City Most Mistakes Were Made In: Cape Town
Favorite Countries: South Africa, The Netherlands, France